This morning as I was getting ready to write today’s blog I was having a case of writer’s block. And the
one thing I’ve learned about myself is the more I try to force things, the more difficult (and stressful) my
It’s been a tough couple of days in the Amoia household. Natalie has been battling a really bad stomach virus and
as a result I’ve had to pitch in more than usual.
And I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that with everything else going on I’m lil stressed out.
And it all came to a head this morning when “I got my buttons pushed”. You know what I mean, don’t you?
I was sitting here racking my brains,trying to come up with the topic for today’s blog when Natalie sent me an
e-mail with a link to an article.
And because I felt like my brain was about to explode I opened up the e-mail and decided to read the article she
had sent me. And as I started reading I could feel my blood pressure begin to boil.
And the more I read the “hotter” I got.
Until ultimately I stopped reading.
So, what was the article? Well, it was an article called “The Bully Close To Home” http://www.handsfreemama.com/2013/12/10/the-bully-too-close-to-home/
It was all about how we as parents unknowingly do things which hurt our children more than it helps them.
One of the things I’ve learned in my journey is that anytime I get triggered and resistance shows up it’s
because there is some kind of lesson that I still need to learn.
As I read this article it became clear that the lesson is that I have to be MORE loving and accepting of my
And you know what the irony is?
I thought I was a very loving dude already.
But when I took some Mirror Time I realized that the way I sometimes express my love, is not really “loving” at all.
In my desire, to love, guide and give them tools to succeed in the world I sometimes am doing more harm then good.
This is exactly why I got so triggered by this article.
Damn, talk about a swift kick to the nuts!
So, why am I sharing this with you? Because whether it’s your kids, a boyfriend or a husband. If you are trying to
“control” them and you are holding them to expectations which they can not live up to, you are unknowingly pushing
Even if you say you are doing so because you love them and want the best for them you will actually be making it
harder for them to love you.
I recently had a conversation with a guy who cheated on his wife. And when I asked him why he cheated he said
that he got tired of getting beaten down. That after many years of being unappreciated and being told about all of
the things he was doing wrong his self esteem and self worth was in the toilet and when someone came along who
made him feel good he cheated.
Now I am in no way justifying and making excuses for this
guy’s behavior. Cheating is wrong, Period!
But for some guys the reason they cheat is because they are
not CONSISTENTLY getting the love and attention they desire
(NOTE*** before you send me an e-mail I fully acknowledge
that this is a two way street and it must work the same
way for women)
But realize this, every human being has their limit and if a person is not in a situation where they FEEL loved and
appreciated then sooner or later they will seek out someone to find the love and appreciation they desperately crave.
At the end of the day, every human being wants two things
1) To Love
2) To Be Loved
And any person who says that they don’t want or need love
is lying…first and foremost to themself.
So I invite you to take some Mirror Time. It’s time to see if there are times where you’re a little too hard on those you
love. Are your expectations too high? Do you hold others up to standards that even you couldn’t live up to? Do you
constantly criticize and make others wrong? Or do you communicate from a place of love in such a way that others
actually FEEL IT?
Go ahead, Take a good look. What do you see?
When you’re done make sure to post your questions, comments and feedback below
Hope This helps!