How to Find The Love of Your Life

If you’re reading this there’s a good chance that

a) you’re not in a relationship                             
B) you are but you’re not really happy

I’ve noticed that we tend to attract these two types of women to the Smarter Dating community.

But the one thing both groups tend to have in common is the desire to experience a real and genuine love. One which fills your heart and makes your soul sing.

Because that is real LOVE!

I’m not talking about the jealous, insecure, say or do anything just so he won’t leave kind of love.

That is not Love…it is fear.

And we’ve all been there. There was a time in my life where I spent almost 3 years in a crappy and unfulfilling relationship. And when I finally had the balls to walk away I realzied that the love I thought I had for my ex was not “real” at all.

That experience made me realize that if I were to have the type of relationship I really wanted (yes, ladies some of us MEN do want to experience TRUE LOVE too!) I had t do some things differently.

Little did I know that my experience with my ex-fiance would be the catalyst which would help me find the LOVE I had always wanted.

The thing about us human beings is we all think we are unique. We think no one experiences the heartache and frustration at the level we do. ANd it’s simply not true. In fact, as someone who has worked with women very closely for several years I can tell you that the stories are all very similar and very common.

So many women think that if they just do this or do that the guy will fall in love and commit to her. And it’s just not true! You could say and do everything perfectly and because the guy you are seeking is a “boy” that relationship will never work out.

You see, if you really want o find the love of your life there is one thing that you absolutely MUST do. This one thing is the foundation of the LOVE that you really want. Do this one thing and when the time is right you will find the right guy and the perfect relationship.

And what’s really cool is that you won’t have to work hard to make this type of relationship work. It will happen naturally on it’s own.

However, if you don’t do this one thing you will continue to be a passenger on the love roller coaster to hell! You will continue to go from one crappy relationship to the next. You will continue to attract guys who say one thing and do another. You will continue to invest your time and energy (and your heart) on guys who continue to let you down and disappoint you.

The goods news is that all can end TODAY! There is only one thing you have to do…and that one thing is to be your true authentic self!

If you really want to find and attract a REAL MAN the only thing you MUST do is show up as the REAL YOU. And when I say the real you..I mean the YOU that you really are…not the YOU that you think you are.

Because the REAL YOU would never allow yourself to put up with half of the sh*t you’ve put up with from guys. The real you would be crystal clear on your boundaries and wouldn’t be afraid to walk away when a guy isn’t giving you the consistent love & respect you deserve. And the REAL YOU would stop making excuses when some selfish, immature, and emotionally unavailable “boy” starts f*cking with your mind and your emotions.

And this is part of the problem. Because being the REAL YOU is scary as hell. Being the REAL YOU means you must take chances and you must make choices and decisions which make you vulnerable and leave you open to being hurt again. Being the REAL You requires having crystal clear boundaries and knowing when it is time to cut your losses and walk away.

In life, we are always looking for the guarantees, quick fixes and the magic bullets. Well, I’m sorry to say that there are none! You can read all the books, attend all the seminars and watch Oprah Winfrey’s Super Soul Sunday from the moment you get up until the moment you go to bed.

If you don’t open yourself up and SHOW a man the REAL YOU…all of you…the good, the bad and the ugly…YOU WILL NEVER HAVE THE TYPE OF RELATIONSHIP YOU REALLY WANT….AND DESERVE.

I’m not saying you won’t have a relationship. You will…lots of them! They’ll simply be like all of the other relationships you have had. Everything will be good for a little while and then it’ll all fall apart. He’ll run, you’ll run or you’ll continue to stay and try to make a square peg fit into a round hole.

And what’s worse is that you will stay and say that it’s because of “LOVE”.

No it’s not!

You stay because you are afraid! And being afraid is the #1 sign you are not being your true authentic self!

Love is supposed to make you feel good. Love is supposed to make you happy. It’s supposed to give you  a sense of inner peace and happiness.

Anything that does not feel good is not love, it is fear. And fear is not who you are. You can not act from fear and feel good. That’s not how things work.

Showing up as the REAL YOU may make you vulnerable and may scare the crap out of you…but it is the ONLY WAY to get what you really want.

So, if you’ve been struggling in your pursuit of love, you might want to take a step back and see where you haven’t been showing up as the REAL YOU.

Because the truth is the RIGHT GUY is out there looking for you…the REAL YOU, not some needy,insecure, jealous and  controlling version of who you think you need to be to “catch” a man and “keep” him.

Show the right guy how truly amazing and awesome you are and that right guy will have no problem committing to you, being faithful to you and loving you with all of his heart.

I know it might sound like a bunch of bullsh*t. Based on your past and all of the “boys” you’ve been involved with, it’s hard to imagine it actually happening.

But I promise you this. You show up as the REAL YOU and you make consistent choices and actions in alignment with WHO you are and where you want to go and a miracle will soon happen.

And the beauty of this is that you only need one miracle to wash away all of the frustration of yesterday.

“You can’t get the good fruit if you’re not willing to go out on a limb!”

God Bless,
Joe